Perfectionistic beliefs and mindset
Perfectionistic students can be debilitated by their need to be perfect. Research on perfectionism demonstrates that it can be a maladaptive, anxiety-ridden perspective on accomplishment. An unhealthy perfectionist gauges his own sense of worth on the basis of being as perfect as possible. He assesses whether he is meeting either his own unreasonable standards or his perception of the highly stringent demands of others (a perception that may or may not be accurate). When children strive for excellence but learn to tolerate their mistakes it is sometimes referred to as healthy perfectionism.
Perfectionists can demand perfection of themselves, demand perfection from others, or both. Some research suggests that many, but not all, perfectionists have parents who are very demanding and controlling while providing little emotional responsiveness. Even with this general tendency in the data, many perfectionists come from homes with very supportive parents.
A child who is a perfectionist may develop goal-avoidance behavior toward accepting challenging tasks. That is, if given the option, she may decide not to accept a challenging task because there is a real possibility that she cannot complete it perfectly within the time-frame given. As a result, the perfectionistic student sometimes does not turn in
assignments because she cannot get them to be perfect.
The perfectionist may use negative, overly critical self-talk in his attempts to please his parents or others, to overcome a sense of shame, or to bring some kind of order to his world. He feels that other people accept him only on the condition that he remains perfect in what he does. He does not accept criticism well because it is perceived as judging him to be unacceptable and unlovable.
Helping a perfectionist develop a healthier approach to motivation requires an affirming environment where parents, teachers and counselors highlight the positive qualities of the child while emphasizing growth over the perfection of the work done. Along with an affirming environment, the perfectionist needs to learn to assess his effort and his progress rather than whether his work is perfect. This can be a very difficult transition in thinking because the perfectionistic thinking is rooted in emotional turmoil.
Plans to help perfectionists often include the following components (Antony, 2010).
on perfectionistic students.
Perfectionists can demand perfection of themselves, demand perfection from others, or both. Some research suggests that many, but not all, perfectionists have parents who are very demanding and controlling while providing little emotional responsiveness. Even with this general tendency in the data, many perfectionists come from homes with very supportive parents.
A child who is a perfectionist may develop goal-avoidance behavior toward accepting challenging tasks. That is, if given the option, she may decide not to accept a challenging task because there is a real possibility that she cannot complete it perfectly within the time-frame given. As a result, the perfectionistic student sometimes does not turn in
assignments because she cannot get them to be perfect.
The perfectionist may use negative, overly critical self-talk in his attempts to please his parents or others, to overcome a sense of shame, or to bring some kind of order to his world. He feels that other people accept him only on the condition that he remains perfect in what he does. He does not accept criticism well because it is perceived as judging him to be unacceptable and unlovable.
Helping a perfectionist develop a healthier approach to motivation requires an affirming environment where parents, teachers and counselors highlight the positive qualities of the child while emphasizing growth over the perfection of the work done. Along with an affirming environment, the perfectionist needs to learn to assess his effort and his progress rather than whether his work is perfect. This can be a very difficult transition in thinking because the perfectionistic thinking is rooted in emotional turmoil.
Plans to help perfectionists often include the following components (Antony, 2010).
- Helping perfectionists develop awareness of their own perfectionistic thinking and behavior and the effects they have on themselves and others around them.
- Helping perfectionists challenge their thinking and their beliefs. This includes helping them learn to evaluate the costs and benefits of spending a large amount of time making sure things are just so.
- Challenging their all or none thinking pattern and their impossibly high standards.
- Challenging their overestimation of how bad things will be if they make a mistake and underestimation of their ability to cope with imperfections.
- Helping perfectionists practice making mistakes. For example, a parent may want to work a deal with a child’s teacher that he can turn in some homework assignments with one item not completed.
- Helping perfectionists move away from an over-attention to the details.
- Helping perfectionists learn that others will not condemn them for mistakes and imperfections.
on perfectionistic students.
The Kids' Take: A student's perspective on perfectionism
In this video, Michael has an honest and straightforward discussion with Delaney about how he has a fixed mindset as a result of his perfectionism. He then explains how his perfectionism has impacted his performance and how he thinks about himself. Most importantly, he then shares how he is striving to develop a growth mindset.
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References
Antony, M. (2010). When perfect is not good enough. Ted Talks. Retrieved from Youtube site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTbnBmwKuCI
Dweck, C. (2013). Carol Dweck on Being Perfect. Retrieved from Youtube website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgUF5WalyDk
Dweck, C. (2013). Carol Dweck on Being Perfect. Retrieved from Youtube website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgUF5WalyDk